![]() ![]() So, for each one, I told it to randomly generate a bunch, and I'd just pick one that looked vaguely like a celebrity, and that's the story of how the stalwart adventuring party of me, Moby, Betty Boop, and Sinéad O'Connor united to battle the evil dark lord, Brian De Palma. So every time Miitopia needed a Mii to fill an upcoming role, I had to make a new one from scratch, and if you could imagine an arse so tiny that it could only poo out a turd one millimeter thick, like a length of brown dental floss, that is how little I could be arsed to do that. Unlike with the Wii and the 3DS, the Miis aren't central to the user experience I haven't randomly acquired a bunch via StreetPass, or from inviting people over to play strip- WarioWare. I thought it was just my device for playing indie games while on the plop. Thing is, I don't have any Miis on my Switch, Miitopia this is the first I fucking heard that the Switch still has a Mii-creating facility. Still, the legacy of the Wii remains with us, with every twinge of waggle-induced tendonitis and, of course, the concept of the Mii, wherein players construct a sort of refrigerator magnet homunculus they can pretend looks like them to insert into certain first-party Nintendo games with nonspecific protagonists and the general vibe of an animation on a bowling alley TV, a genre to which we can now add Miitopia, a full-on party-based RPG you can populate with the refrigerator magnet homunculi you have on your Switch. And I’m still exactly where I was, but with a slightly nicer chair, so looks like I won, hunter-duckers! Ten years on, and the Xbox has had to sheepishly remove its Kinect like a hat at a funeral, the PlayStation Move is relegated to backup Christmas-themed sex toys, and the Wii itself is consigned forever to the leaky trough of consumer history, with all its brown gunk-encrusted controllers and cheaply-made third-party hidden object games about Toy Story cast after it. Remember the Nintendo Wii? After the Nintendo GameCube was the console equivalent of a Chinese gymnast - well-crafted and colorfully-dressed, but painfully undernourished - remember how Nintendo followed it up with something that resembled a UFO cult's purity-testing device, and it sold better than mouthwash outside a blowjob factory, and everyone was all like, "Ooh, motion controls are the future of gaming!", and I was all like, "No, they've only attracted a short-term crowd of gimmick-loving trend-followers, and ultimately, the long-term core audience of gaming plays to relax and unwind and not Morris dance around the fucking living room.", and then the consoles were all like, "Don't listen to Grumpy-Trousers! Motion controls all 'round!" ![]() Lol:No Wars (Because the Shame is a place, too.This week on Zero Punctuation, Yahtzee reviews Miitopia.The Location of Miitopia, as you can see it is under Pac-Land. Later in the far future, Pac-Man will enforce a second War on the Miis and will take over the island once more after eating every single one of them. Nintendo decided to make a ton of shames about the Miis later on, including an RPG where you save Miis from a Dark Lord that like stealing other's faces. Soon, the Miis that remained and the new ones that were being generated formed up a culture, that got stuck in time by keeping their world with medieval stuff for some reason. Of course, this meant that the Miis were now owned by Nintendo and had to bend by their own rules. At the end, the Miis barely won but were nearly extinct, but don't worry! Nintendo was there to save the day! They made a program called " Mii Maker" and plopped it onto their Nintendo Wii so that people could physically create Miis for the species to go on. The Pac-People started to eat some of the Miis and they got into a small war. Well, more like "Desserted" since the Pac-People were there and ate everything. Queen Serenity, who thought that the Miis were evil, destroyed a good chunk of them, and forced them to retreat to Earth on a deserted island. They visited Earth's Moon to gather some rocks to refuel their spaceships. In the year 1345, there were this species of Aliens known as the Miis. Pac-People discovered Miitopia a long time ago and ate well there, until the year 1345, that is. Miitopia, AKA tasmania is a place where all of the Miis live, or whatever it is. ![]()
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